Why it's going to take Noor 5 months to make a sweater
Shayla Madha | December 14, 2021
I’m sure we all went through a crochet phase. And noor, my roommate and closest companion for the last fifteen years, is going through her’s right now. For those of you who don’t know what crocheting is: how? It's basically knitting but with one needle and I don’t know how else to describe it. It is pronounced ‘crow-shay', like the bird and my name, not ‘crow-shit’ so please don’t say it like that as you read this in your head. Anyways noor decided she wants to learn how to crochet, which is great. Crocheting is super cool and people who are really good at it even sell their work. I started crocheting in second grade and the first thing I made was a pair of socks for my teacher’s newborn baby. I kept crocheting small things until I was about twelve then my crochet phase came to an end.
Last month noor started expressing her interest in crocheting so I took her to Michael’s (the arts and crafts store) and she bought crochet hooks and yarn. I asked noor what she planned on crocheting first and I was quite surprised by her answer. For noor’s FIRST project she has decided she wants to make HERSELF AN ENTIRE SWEATER. A human woman sized sweater. Completely crocheted. Very bold. But nonetheless I supported her because go big or go home right? Noor started crocheting at the beginning of December after we returned to Berkeley from Thanksgiving break in Los Angeles. Noor embarked on her sweater journey by tackling the first sleeve. Day in and day out noor crocheted endlessly until her hands hurt. After about a week of crocheting noor expressed how she did not like how the sleeve was turning out in how stiff it was. Then she told me she was planning on un-crocheting her week’s work! I pleaded with her and told her it would be so tragic if she ruined this big green tube she had been so tirelessly working on. I suggested that she should just give the tube to my dog, Sadie, as a doggy sweater and then restart her own sweater but noor refused. “I want a sweater!” she said. I then convinced her to continue the sleeve but change the style of crochet and she seemed to be happy with that idea.
Now, another week later, noor is about half way through the first sleeve. “This sweater is going to take a really long time,” I told her. I couldn’t help but to do the calculations to estimate just how long this pea-colored monstrosity would take for my best friend to complete. If it took her two weeks to finish half the sleeve then it should take one month to complete one whole sleeve. But there will be two sleeves so therefore two months total for both sleeves. Then she must make the torso of the sweater which will be two crocheted squares (the front and back) that are eventually connected together and with the sleeves. I estimate each square should take the same amount as a single sleeve because if you laid the sleeve flat it is probably nearly the same size as the square. Therefore I predict each square for the torso of the sweater will take one month. With a total of two sleeves and two squares for the front and back of the sweater I have a total of four months. However, noor starts her first semester at UC Berkeley in January of 2022. This unfortunate obstacle may mean noor is too busy with classes to dedicate enough time to making her god forsaken sweater. Due to this I am adding an extra month to my sweater timeline placing noors sweater completion at five months.
After doing this calculation I stood in front of noor as she crocheted on the couch in our apartment last night and stated “it’s gonna take you five months to finish that.” At first she seemed doubtful but then I explained the ‘math’ behind it to her. “This sweater is going to be so bad,” noor said unprovoked as I made nachos in the kitchen. Maybe, my friend, maybe. But we will not know for another four and a half months.
Now I sit next to noor on our couch as I write and she continues to crochet. “I literally cannot distinguish anything from anything” she says while giving her half done sleeve a confused look. She then looks at my computer screen “how much could you possibly be writing!?” says the girl who has been crocheting for two weeks straight. You have bigger things to worry about. Godspeed, my friend.
